Everybody in the UK is out in the streets today with banners and flags showing the Union Jack and shouting about the glory of freedom once more. People are outwardly showing signs of joy and happiness, singing stirring songs of freedom and revolution. The UK is free of the shackles of the tyrannical EU, all that bureaucracy and control, oppression and subjugation such as;
making us eat straight bananas,
having to measure things in Kilos,
not allowing us to eat pet horses,
banning the use of toasters, hairdryers, kettles or high powered vacuum cleaners,
stopping our under eight-year-olds from blowing up balloons
not allowing us to use light bulbs
No votes or democracy
But thanks to a nation known for its tea drinking finally we will now be able to compost our teabags again (details courtesy of one of the UK’s renowned, upstanding and unbiased national daily newspapers).
The country is liberated, and what is the top of the list to demonstrate this freedom we have fought for? Yes, you will all be pleased to know that the next time you renew your passport you will get a blue one. At last, we can all celebrate freedom! Che Guevara would finally be proud of our nation of shop keepers…..
In an alternative reality;
Today is the day of mourning, life will never be the same again. No longer will we be able to call ourselves European. We will forevermore just be known as British, or maybe Scottish, Welsh or Irish but never English. Today is the day that will go down in history as the one where the world appears less happy, the start of economic ruin, poverty, depression. Will the people be out on the streets to oppose the demise of this great institution, no despair has set in, life is meaningless. People wander around aimlessly, with no purpose or guidance, but we still have democracy and control of our destiny, one lone voice cries, the others manage a cynical laugh, what is democracy without purpose or meaning?
The EU brought us so much;
£365 Million was worth every penny
The Europeans are so much better at writing our laws for us, we just can’t be trusted
Red is much nicer than blue for your passport
Metric is so clever children will be bemused if we have to use imperial measurements again
Culture, we will have to go back to get it from the Australians?
We were protected from overall US control, burgers, chicken wings, stars and stripes, mums own apple pie and Donald Trump, we will have no option but to become the 51st state now.
Equality, the minimum wage, court of justice and human rights, same-sex marriage, free travel and the opportunity to work freely across Europe.
We will make a strong effort to see the bright side of the future, maybe HS2 and the Heathrow expansion will stave off the worst of the disaster, but at least we will always know that this was decided by the people and they are always right.
Two views of today, neither accurate, but the reality is somewhere in between, none of us truly knows what that reality will turn out to be. What we can do is strive as a nation to work through our differences and cover over the divisions made during the Brexit period. Wherever your views sit, we have the opportunity of a new start and we must work positively to make that new world a better one for us all. We are still European, and we should endeavour to stay close to our European friends. We can also now be cosmopolitan and build relationships across the whole world. I believe this is a day of hope. We can all look back in fifty years and history will tell us it was a positive day that helped define a successful Britain and Northern Ireland in the twenty-first century.